


Wavelengths

by hawkeyedpeas (pandacowhipster)



Category: The Get Down (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 11:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7890838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandacowhipster/pseuds/hawkeyedpeas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s a raw deal, being this happy but only so long as he never shares it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wavelengths

The Kipling household is constantly swarming with people--parents, siblings, friends, the occasional cousin or neighbor--there’s barely any room to breathe. It’s pretty much impossible to get a minute alone, there always seems to be someone in every corner of the house without fail. It’s always been a bustling, crowded melee of people who love each other crammed together to create a mismatched yet somehow perfect family. **  
**

So the isolation Dizzee feels is an extremely new, incredibly unwelcome sensation. For the first time in his life, he doesn’t have anyone to talk to. He knows his family tends to brush off his ideas and musings as nonsense more often than not, but they still listen to him anyway.

Even as far out as some of the things he’s brought up at the dinner table have been, this is something he wouldn’t even be able to find the words for even if he were stupid enough to blurt it out to his whole family.

Thor is… amazing. Of course, Dizzee was initially captivated by his art--skills like that couldn’t be ignored--but it’s everything else too. When Dizzee talks he doesn’t just listen, he understands him. It’s like he’s finally found someone who operates on the same frequency as him, instead of hearing his words through a mess of static, everything Dizzee says seems to come through loud and clear for Thor.

The bliss of being so perfectly understood only seemed to magnify all the other feelings Thor made bloom in his chest like wildflowers through cracked concrete. Everything about him seems so beautiful to Dizzee, the deepness of his eyes, the straight slope of his nose, the curve of his lips--especially when he smiles. Sometimes Dizzee thinks he could spend the rest of his life looking at him and be perfectly happy.

He sounds like Zeke.

That’s the really awful part--Zeke only seems to need the slightest provocation to go into some long winded ode to Mylene and the swirling mess of emotions she stirs up in his teenage heart. And even though they may roll their eyes or tell him to give it a rest, they still listen. Zeke knows he can tell them how he’s feeling and they won’t love him any less for it.

Dizzee doesn’t know what they’d do if he told them about Thor, like, really told them. That he’s not just some white boy who tags trains, he’s the most incredible epiphany of Dizzee’s life. He doesn’t like to think about it, honestly. Doesn’t want to imagine a world where his brothers might not love him anymore, so he keeps it to himself, lets every thought he wants to voice about Thor rest at the back of his throat until he manages to choke it back down.

It’s a raw deal, being this happy but only so long as he never shares it.

“You okay, Dizz?” Ra-ra asks, knocking their shoulders together. They’re up on the roof, all five of them, Dizzee’s faintly aware of Boo and Shao going back and forth about something that’s making Zeke laugh, but he hasn’t really been tuned in to the conversation all night. He should have known Ra-ra would pick up on it.

Dizzee looks out at the skyline, lit up in the orange haze of street lamps. No stars in the Bronx. “Do you ever feel like you’re going to explode?”

“Gonna need a little more to go on, D.”

“Like, do you ever feel like there’s so much happening inside of you that you’ll just... explode the next time you open your mouth to take a breath?”

“Can’t say I have. You sure it’s not just gas?”

Dizzee rolls his eyes, but can’t help smiling, “I’m serious.”

Ra-ra sighs, “honestly, I’m not sure anybody feels all the stuff you do.”

Dizzee shoves his hands in his pockets, “don’t worry about it...  I’m just too in my head today.”

“Yeah? Well you should come out some time,” Ra-ra reaches over to ruffle his hair, “take a vacation from planet Dizzee.”

Dizzee nods, which seems to be enough assurance for Ra-ra to go back to the others, leaving Dizzee to stare out into the night, imagining constellations he can’t see.

\--

“So, where are the other aliens?” Thor asks.

They’re sitting at the top of the fire escape of an abandoned building that’s probably going to get burned down any day now. They came up to watch for trains, see if they saw any tagged by people they knew, but mostly it’s just a good way to be alone together.

“Huh?” Dizzee had been talking about how Flash was thinking of letting Shao spin at an upcoming party before they lapsed into comfortable silence, so the topic seems to come out of nowhere.

“Rumi,” Thor says, taking Dizzee’s hand and tracing shapes into his palm, “he’s an alien, but where are the rest of them? Doesn’t he have a home planet?”

“He’s the only one.”

“Sounds lonely.”

Dizzee looks up at him, “it is.”

Thor kisses him and it’s the most exquisite freedom. It’s like melted chocolate and a cool breeze on the hottest day of summer all rolled up into one unbelievable boy. Dizzee loves kissing him so much it makes him want to cry, it’s like they’ve found a way to talk without words and are saying the exact same thing.

They have to stop to catch their breath eventually and Thor presses their foreheads together like he doesn’t want to get too far away.

“You ever feel like you’re gonna explode?” Dizzee asks softly.

“Kinda do right now,” Thor whispers, “like fireworks.”

“Yeah?”

Thor nods slightly and kisses the corner of his mouth, “every time.”

“I wish I could make the whole world feel the way I do right now.”

Thor cradles Dizzee’s cheek in one hand, “I don’t know about the rest of the world, but I feel it.”

“I can work with that,” Dizzee says.

They reposition themselves so Thor’s resting his head on Dizzee’s shoulder while Dizzee drags his fingers through Thor’s hair.

“This doesn’t feel real sometimes,” Dizzee says, “like… I could be dreaming or something.”

Thor seems to think this over for a moment, “nightmares scare you right? Like, even though they’re not real, when you wake up you still feel scared.”

“Yeah.”

“So,” Thor says, pressing closer, “if what you feel is real, then that’s all that matters. Doesn’t have to be real to anybody else.”

“You have a very refreshing way of looking on the bright side.”

“What else can you do?”

He’s right. Dizzee may be existing in some strange purgatory where it feels like he’s not always his whole self, but he figures there’s probably no one who feels that way. He might not be able to express the bone deep contentedness he feels any time he’s with Thor to his friends, but he can still carry it with him. Can still feel the echo of Thor’s hands or lips on him hours later and knows Thor feels him just as much and that’s enough.

He figures he doesn’t mind keeping this to himself as long as he gets to keep it.

**Author's Note:**

> catch me on [tumblr](http://queeraang.tumblr.com/)


End file.
